Sexual Reality
by fairyglitter101
Summary: Inexpiably, Erotic Novels were the worst go-to for sex advice.


**Fairy Tail Fanfic**

 _Disclaimer: I own this._

 **Story: Sexual Reality.**

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One of Lucy's pet peeves in Erza's extensive Adult Erotica novels, was the lack of realistic sex. Or the small 'nothing' details that actually happened during sex. The small smells that were forgotten in hindsight, and _no_ , she did not mean the _musky scent that thickened the air_. Lucy is talking about _Berry Blast_ Scented Condom that comes in a pink packet, that is wet and slippery on touch from the pre-applied lubricant. And how the smell stains your fingers. How the Lube (Glow in the dark _Four Seasons_ one) sits brightly green in the dark on the bedside table. How the lube makes it tricky to massage to clit because your fingers struggle to grasp friction. And how you turn on the bedside table light because: _What the hell are either of you doing right now?_

"But think about it, every book, in each one, the first times the men thrust in, they get in." Lucy says.

Erza nodded thoughtfully.

"He just gets in, and she might make a few sounds to the _foreign invasion_ – they use that description a lot the first time he enters- and he will ask if she is any discomfort, and I have to say: What a crock of shit!"

Inexplicably, Erotic Novels were the worst go-to for sex advice.

The redhead gently choked on the lemonade she was drinking through a crazy straw, eyes lighting up. "How so?" Lips twitching in amusement.

Turning to face her best friend more forwardly. "Think about it. Each time, in all books, he gets it the first time, even if she guides him. Books mislead me! I felt betrayed! You want to know my first experience? – Shut up your hearing it anyway – it hurt. Not a brutal bloodbath like they also told me it would be. But, even though I was relaxed in my bed, I was prepped, _it hurt_. He couldn't get in. My vagina practically refused entry." Lucy paused to allow her friend to try and suppress her laughter (it didn't work) before continuing. "My first didn't end up being my first until we tried again."

Erza raised one shoulder and dropped it. _Yeah, and?_

"So, my point is, in this hour-long rant on the falsity on losing your Virginity, don't listen to books. And also, if you were like me, don't believe Fanfiction on how it will be. Reality won't be kind. And ninety percent of Novels and Fanfiction smut is literally written by virgins who have read enough smut to convince people to believe them that they know what they are talking about."

"I feel like you have a lot of pent up rage on this topic that is just now, for the first time, being released."

The Celestial mage sighed, "What about you? Your first time, what did you do to make yourself more comfortable?"

Placing down her empty glass, hair silky and flat against her head, clothes pressed and crisp, not a winkle among it, she looked professional. Like a professor about to start an educational lecture. "I actually did a lot of studying on the matter. I read up, I talked to trusted adults and older peers. And most importantly, and I can't stress this enough, invested in lube. I mean it, it doesn't always matter how young you are, get Lube. And don't use it sparingly. Slather that shit on. Put more on the condom, and for him, because this can feel good, but some _in_ the condom."

"Really?"

"Also, be very hands on with entering. It helped me, mind you, I have control issues, sooo, that may or may not be related. But it helped."

Blushing, Lucy lowered her voice. After all, they were in a Guild talking crudely.

"Can you elaborate on that."

Erza seemed too happy to give answers. "So, this is how it was, and how it still is for me – I envy those who can do quickies – Enter slowly, and with Lube. He might not be able to go all in on first thrust, so do a little enter, pull out, a bit in again, and inch your way in further. When you're comfortable, you can get to it at a faster pace with no pain."

"I have had an expensive education, but no one has taught me more than you."

Spreading her palms apart, "I'm here to help."

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 **Hours to make. Seconds to comment.**

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 **Authors note:**

 **I hope you all enjoyed that!**


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